Okay, Tuesday's show: Tasia and D!

Diana - "I believe", which is their Idol song. Oh. My. God. She is SO good! Seriously!!! I can't believe her, she's almost making me cry. ALL THE IDOLS ARE THERE!! Seriously, on one side there's Leah, Camile, George, JPL and on the other side there's Johnny and his parents, and Jen and Amy and Mattie. I haven't seen Matt yet, but Brittney's on the phone with me right now and she says he's there, so.

Tasia - "All my life". She's not bad, but this is such a stupid song. She's bouning like George Huff. Whoa, London France, Tasia! I don't think there are any words in this song, seriously, most of it is "Yeah, Yeah". Randy hated it. Oh there's Mattie! Simon said she's lucky that she's doing more than one song, because it sucked. The audience is booing, he says shut up. Commercials. Oh, that Jon Stuart "DAMN YOU CANADIAN BACON!"

Diana - "No More Tears" again!! YAY I LOVE THIS SONG!! She's changing the words up a bit and adding bits, it's still as good as it was the first time, only better. Randy said she's singing her face off. No! I love Diana's face. Paula agrees. Simon said her dancing was hideous, and the whole stupid pageant thing, he says. I LIKE the whole stupid pageant thing, man! Commercials. Hey, it's Paul Martin! I love that guy! Jean Cretien was awesome, but so is he.

Back. Tasia - "Summertime". NOOOOO!!! This is the freaking THIRD time I've had to go through this!! New dress, still sitting on the floor, singing horribly. I'm going to KILL her if she RUINS Jenny's song ONE MORE TIME!!! Yup, typical, she sits right on the AMERICAN IDOL circle, as if to say "Yup, that's me". Ugh. Whoa Tasia, don't bend down that low when your wearing a LOW NECK DRESS!! I did NOT want to see that, I've already seen her underwear this episode, and Jasmine's yellow bra on Big Band night, this is turning into an R-rated show! Oh good, she's done. Hey, she's wearing the same silver bracelet as Jazzy, what a copy! Randy and Paula say she's great. Paula says she'll never bore an audience. Sure, she's not boring, but she sure as hell can piss me off! Simon said she's the best contestant in any World show. Nu-uh, Guy and Cossie were better!! Commercials. My mama's still up stairs washing the dishes. Oh well, she didn't miss much, it sounded just as bad as the first time she did it, and the second.

Diana - "Don't cry out loud", again!! YAY I LOVE THIS SONG!!! Oooh, she's kind of messing up. YAY!! Now people are going to vote for her!! Randy says: Allright so, let's critique the song. You started weak at the beginning, you fell apart at the middle, you were pitchy, I'm a loser. Paula says: I'm a loser too, oh well, you're still wonderful. Simon said that Fantasia scared her and she lost her chance. Commercials.

Tasia - "I believe". Um, what is she wearing, seriously? A green dress with straps that look like they've been twisted around by John Stevens and it was five minutes before show time so she didn't have time to un-twist them. Or something...like that. She's good, but not as good as D. I'm sure this is different for Tasia, you know, singing with a bunch of gospel dudes...not! Whoa, calm down!! With that dress on you girl, it's not only YOU who is bouncing. You get it? She's crying!! Awww, Mattie is standing up and whistling! And Amy is crying. All the judges say it was superb. Yes it was, but D's was superburer-ish. What? I don't know.

Beh!! Paul Anka is singing "My way"! He was here last year. This year he's singing about Di and Tasia, last year it was about Clay and Rube. Aha, they're showing auditions. Aww, Army Girl and ScooterGirl and stupid scat girl that I hate so much. Haha, he's rhyming something with JPL and William Hung and JPL. Haha, Ryan is surfing. This is so messed up. Beh!!

Recap!! Go D!! I gotta go vote for her and so do you!!

1-866-IDOLS-01, 3, or 5 or text the word VOTE to 1-866-436-5701. If you want to vote for Tasia, go ahead, but I'll kill you all if she wins. D, out!!! Hopefully not!!