November 11, 12:28am [Happy Birthday Kalan Porter :)]

So tired. But so in love with Johnny. Oh crap, I did NOT just say that. I'm at Sarah's house. I was so hyper earlier, we have like 3 videos of me singing songs about him. Mainly about how I need him and how grateful I am to be with him and about how we're meant to be together and how I can't live without him. Jeez Rebecca, obsess much? It's less than a month till he comes back, and I am freaking out. It's just that I've missed him so much and I'll have so much to say that I won't be able to say anything at all. Just to be around him again is going to be so wonderful, I just hope I don't cry. I only when I see Courtney or Guy, so that would mean a lotI just hope he hasn't changed that much, he's got one of the best personalities I've ever known, honestly. He's probably still got that undescribable effect on me where he looks at me and it's just so totally, oh my god. He knows he does it, but I'm not sure if he knows why it has such an impression on me. It's his eyes, I know it. They're just so caring and gorgeous and so easy to get lost in. If I look into them enough, everything else disappears and I can see everything he feels but isn't brave enough to say. He also has this way of making everything better by just saying something sweet. It's the way he says it, I can always tell he means it by the soft and gentle way he speaks it. I can't even begin to say how that makes me feel. If he were to get me lost in his eyes until I couldn't think properly, then whisper something so sweet that I couldn't help but take his hand, and then kiss me, I don't even know what that would do to me, I'm not even sure if I could handle that! He just has a way of brining out the emotion that I don't want anyone to know about, and then he understands exactly where they come from because he feels the same way.

----------------------------END OF REBECCA'S LOVE LIFE--------------------------

I wrote that last night. The videos are hillarious, I'll upload them when I can. I got like 3 emails today from people in Belgium who saw my Wouter site and want to know how someone in Canada knows him, and one of them is the person my mom met yesterday who knows about me but obviously didn't know that was me. So that's cool. I updated the site yesterday and am going to today, with his song choice for next week. And other stuff.

Yes, I know that entry above was retarded, but I was thinking about him all last night! I can't help it. It's 19 days till December. 19 days. That's so close. EEK Johnny. Sorry. I just stapled that note thing into my Johnny scrapbook.

I've been writing since 5 but I never posted. I'm dumb.