Tuesday: I'm a bit behind, Latoya's already on...

Jasmine Trias - "Everlasting love". She was good, but her voice kept cracking. It was nothing compared to Clay, but not much is, except for Guy Sebastian. Simon said she was going home. Shut up, Cowell.

Latoya London - "Love you inside out" or something like that. She was good, she started yelling a bit too much at the end. Simon just said everyone knows she's a great singer. I don't know it! Well, it was a bit good. Simon said it was boring. Yeah, because it wasn't her usual screamingness. Simon said she has no personality. NO DUH!! I realized that like 5 months ago! I have no idea what Paula just said, but I don't care either. Yeah whatever, Jackson agrees with Cowell. I have no idea what he is saying. Nothing special, I think. Yeah, Latoya's performance was nice. Don't you people get it? This has been only like her second good performance, but if it's not screamed so much it's incomprehensible, I guess that means it's not good. Whatever.

Fantasia Barrino - "Knock on wood". Um, she just let some guy in the audience twirl her around and then she pushed him back onto his chair like he was her boyfriend. Right. She's doing great. Don't start with the "Yeah's" Tasia, you'll ruin it! Oh good, she didn't. Whoa, echoing last note much. Ha, now she's glaring at Simon. Simon says she's different and it was great. Wow, he's smart. Donna Summer agrees. She's the guest judge tonight. She says Fantasia has the best smile. Paula says Fantasia always picks the right songs. Not true. Randy says "Dude, you got it goin' on". Yup. Ryan just said "Yo, whassup, Barrino?" Um, people only talk to ME like that. Except they go "Yo, whassup, Hudson?" after Jennifuh Hudson. And they go "Yo, whassup, Rasmusen?" after Carmen Ramusen, yo. Giat with the program, yo. Haha, Reece. Shut up!

Commercials. Wait, commercials ended.

Diana Degarmo - "This is it". Yup, "Come on ya'll!". Ouch, not a nice dress. Makes her look a bit fat. Oh yeah, go Diana! I am so her. Shut up! Whoa, that was weird. It just showed her mom looking mad, and then when she saw the camera on her she starting smiling. Simon reminds her that he always said she was too young for this competition, now he takes it back. And before she chooses songs, keep away from Fantasia and Latoya. What? I have no idea what Donna just said, there's way too much noise in my house. And Paula says that someone is happening to Diana. Yeah, she's getting better because she knows it's down to the wire and she needs to step up her GAME, which is what most people do. What? Shut up Randy, say Paula and Simon. You're boring, says Simon. Ha, RANDY'S boring, Mr.IalwaysthinkI'mrightsoI'mjustgonnakeeptalkingeventhoughnoonecares?

Commercials. If you've noticed, which you probably have unless you're dumb, they're doing the judges comments backwards tonight. They start with Simon, end with Rarndy. Yes, I know I wrote Rarndy, it's just what I call him, so shut. Shup. You, shup. Right. Whatever. The judges didn't know Ryan was gonna do that until the show, so when Ryan tells Simon he's speaking first his face is like "Um, dude, what are you talking about you're such a freak", you should've seen it. Seriously, it's like, when I walk in, I predict that the judges will see me and they'll be like "Oh my god, what is this freak doing here?" and then I'll take off my sunglasses and they'll go "Oh my god, what is this freak doing here?". Oh yeah, 3rd season Auditions, weird guy with huge sunglasses who talks like me. What? Shut up, George. Ah, that Jon Stuart. He's so funny.

Back. More Jasmine Trias!! "It's raining men". She didn't sing the beginning, she messed it up. This is such a messed up song. She's shouting the word "Whoo!" every other second. Someone's been taking lessons from Diana. There she goes again "Whoo!". But she's doing good. Voice isn't cracking as much on this one. My mom said it was horrible. Mom, shup. Simon says she better hope every household in Hawaii has like 50 phones or something, because she needs it. Um, I'm voting for her dude, I'm not in Ha-wa-ee! Paula's just talking garbage again, I'm not listening. Paula, shup. Randy said it wasn't her best. NO DUH, retard! NO!! She's crying. I hate this show. I am voting for her double now. I can't believe they made her cry! But hey, she's only 17, it must be hard. I hope Diana messes up next and cries too, or else people will say that Jasmine's a wimp and Diana's stronger than her and she shouldn't be because Jasmine's older. People can be dumb like that, I bet you anything they're gonna say that.

Commercials.

Back. Latoya London - "Don't leave me this way". Standing O from an audince bit that she is standing in front of. Before she starts her rather yelling but I guess good performance. But she still isn't interesting. Simon says as good as the original. If you liked that, then fine. The judges all like her, but then they decided she was the winner about two months ago, so no surprises there. I still don't understand why they didn't just give her a contract on day one, and let us watch more amusing performers.

Commercials.

Back. Fantasia Barino - "Holding out for a hero". She sings the line,"Where have all the good men gone?"...and I think, well go as Jasmine. They may have been among all that rain.I don't know this song, or maybe she is singing it weird.I guess it was okay, if you like that sort of thing, which I don't. Neither did Simon. Hee. Even Paula (with her still bruised face) didn't like the song. Randy, of course, did.

Diana Degarmo - "No more tears". Sitting on the stage seems to be a required starting pose this year. She looks disco, but she seems to be shouting. Yet another song I don't know. I thought there were about a thousand disco songs we actually knew. She looks very disco. Oh and Simon liked it. Because she did it right. Or something. They all liked it. Okay, so much for my opinions.

I think we will be seeing Jasmine on Ryan's show Thursday. Unless major sympathy voting happens, in which case....maybe Fantasia?

Mmm-kay, the last 3 performances were done by my mom. I thought Latoya was bad, and Fantasia and Diana were AWESOME, BAYBEE! I'm going to vote now, if Diana gets kicked out I'll kill somebody, she was the best of the night.