AI4 Top 40: Top 24 final decisions.

Beh they have to sit in a chair and then they tell them. Lindsay looked sad in an elevator. But that doesn't mean anything. Jamie!!

Matthew Kester: Is out.

So is Donnie Williams from AI3 who got arrest for DWI.

David Brown: Is being interrogated. And is through.

Break.

Back.

Jessica Sierra is heading up the elevator and Tammy Wynette Nash is freaking out.

Jessica - Is in.

Tammy - Is going home.

Nikko Smith, h? His name is OSBOURNE!! He was from the auditions! He's in.

Aloha Mischeaux - She's through.

Mikahlah Gordon - Is through. Lol she's going crazy and babbling about how she's gonna fail school and never get her class notes and her mom is gonna be proud and something and she's like not shutting up and she's like hugging the judges and like beating up Randy and babbling thank you a million times and like trilling and like flipping out and then she's like dying on the elevator and then she comes out to her mom and they both freak out.

Break.

Back.

An Anthony an Anthony Federov is shaking but he says it's good and it helps him!! He's walking in. Yay he's THROUGH!! I love my Jonathan Anthony.

Nadia Turner is through.

Vonzell is through.

Carrie Underwood - She's through YES!!

Judd Harris - Through.

Erin Furey - Gone. Who is that anyway?

Ivan Ganchev ewwwww - Gone. YES!! I always hated him.

Yolando McIntosh - Gone.

Faith Gatewood - Gone. Lol Simon's face he's like um because she asked if she really didn't make it like twice. And now she keeps getting off at the wrong elevator stop. And now she came out and she's getting all mad and asking them all why she didn't make it because she's just as good as them and she's been nothing but nice to them and so Ivan says "Come on" and then she flips out at him and Lindsey is just looking like okay shut up now, and everyone else is just sitting there saying nothing, and now Jaclyn started crying! Way to go, Faith.

Break.

Back.

Ryan follows Faith Gatewood outside because she's freaking out still.

Sarah Mather - EEEK FINALLY!! YES SHE'S THROUGH!!

Celina Eggnog or something, whoops Rae. Yeah. Celina Rednose. Shut up! - She's through. Who is she?

Janay Castine - Through.

Jamie Paul Koehler. They didn't say!

Joeseph is through! That's who that is!! He's through yes!! He's hot. I hope he's a good singer. He was like "No." and Paula was ike "Yes" and he was like leaning forward "No way" and she was like "Way".

Anwar is through lol.

Jam-Sandwich is out yes!!

Nooooooooooo John Zisa is out!!

Jami Paul Koehler is out nooooooooooo! And he's just sitting like UM. And he just sat there. And now he's crying he was one of my favourites along with John Zisa this sucks!!

Break.

Back.

Lindsey Cardinale - She's through.

Melinda Lira - Through

Mario Vazquez - Through.

Kim Holloway - Out.

Constantine Maroulis is worried about Bo Bice. I hate Bo Bice he's so fake! Wait, he's worried about HIS chances.

Bo Bice is through.

Jared Yates is through. Beh.

Constantine Maroulis - MADE IT YES!! The REAL rocker.

Amanda Avila and Jacyln Crum are going up together because they're the last two girls and only one of them goes through. It's...Amanda. I like Jacyln better!! Even though they both suck!!

Break.

Back.

Warren, Travis, and Scott are left and there are 2 spots.

Scott Savol - Is through yes!!

Warren and Travis are beatboxing while they wait for Scott lol. Now they are going up together. Travis is through and he swears because they made Warren think he was going through.

Audition flashbacks...Briana, Adam, Mary, the three amigos! Regina, Liz, Melissa Walton, Adam and Dirk, dancing Janitor, Aa'Shia, Michael, LEROY!! Rich nooo! LEROY CAN YOU DIG IT YES!!!

12 guys are:

Anthony Federov
Constantine Maroulis
Maro Vazquez
Anwar Robinson
David Brown
Judd Harris
Nikko Smith
Travis Tucker
Scott Savol
Bo Bice
Jared Yates
Joseph M

The 12 girls:

Carrie Underwood
Lindsey Cardinale
Sarah Mather
Jessica Sierri
Amanda Avila
Vonzell Solomon
Nadia Turner
Mikalah Gordon
Celina Rae
Janay Castine
Melinda Lira
Aloha Mischeaux

Next week America votes!!

AI4 Top 74: Solo round:

Ewww, Jennifer Todd...Constantine! Ross Williams. John Zisa!! Anwar, Carrie, Mario with his fedora lol. David, Linsday, I want to know who you are!! Judges are dciding. Um Nigel what are you doing there!!

Break.

Back. Four rooms...

Room 1, ugh Sharon Galvez. She sang "Greatest love of all". You can't SING this!! Only Audrey and Fantasia!

Shunta Warthen - Stupid Alicia Keys song! "If I an't got you" I hate this song! Shunta was okay.

Angel Higgs - Nooooooo Jeremy!! She sang the postman song. And then "If you come back to me". She was good.

Rashida Johnson - I liked her. She wasn't that good today.

Sean MacNeil lol!! He sang "Your song" today. Lol he's Matt Rogers he's so good!

Break.

Back. Room 1 is going home. That's good except for Sean.

Room 2: Jam Sandwich Jefferson was cheap, he made up some cheap song.

Mario is there!! He was such a backstreet boy. Simon was like, okay then...

Matthew Kester - "Unchained Melody" Simon's like DIE!! It's his favourite song.

Carrie Underwood!! She was awesome. And she's like asking Constantine whether some expression Simon said meant she was good or not. Oooh, someone likes Constantine!!

Judd Harris - Beh.

David Brown and Anwar are in there too.

Vonzell Solomon - Beh cheap.

Results...YES THEY'RE THROUGH!!

Break. OMG A MOVIE CALLED CONSTANTINE!! Wow I just laughed for like the whole break.

Back. Room 3: Ross, Aa'shia, Dezmond, Jennifer sick. Ewwww. Ewww. Ewww. Ewww. Ewww. Okay I'm done. Ewwww.

Carrie Zaruba - Snob. She sounds like a guy.

Aa'shia Jackson - That girl who looks like a guy. Chipmunk!! Dear god.

Larry Ellis - Ewwww what was THAT?!

Ross Williams - Beh he like scats all the time! Lol that was funny. And he's flipping out.

Break.

Back.

Room 4: Anthony Federov!! Sang a repeat of his audition song. Stupid, don't do that!! They don't like it.

Jacyln Crum - She was okay.

Tammy Wynette Nash - Was kind of boring.

Haha Scott Savol - Is singing Ribbon in the Sky don't do that it's Guy's auditions song Scott jeez!

Ugh, Mikalah - She's singing God Bless the Child don't stupid girl! I hate her.

Linsday Cardinale!! I like her.

Results...after the break.

Back.

Room 3...is out. Good. No one good there anyway.

Room 4...IS IN YES!! AN ANTHONY AN ANTHONY FEDEROV!!! Ugh, a Mikalah Gordon.

Tomorrow they cut to top 24.

Clay Aiken is on Scrubs right now, Channel 18.

Jessica Sierra - Is okay.

AI4 top 100 group performances:

Hi Jamie and David. And Anwar. And Jaclyn.

Matt Myers, Danny Stewart, and Scott Savol are together.

Lol all the groups hate each other except for Anwar.

Constantine's group has a different style. He's with Dezmond and William. Dezmond Meeks sucks, I don't want my Constantine with him.

Break. Whoops, I forgot to press record. Shazbot.

Back. All the grups are getting pissy at each other. Um why is Scott hugging that black guy? Lol that was very David Green. Bye Anwar and Mario! Jaclyn's still at the hospital. Crap she came back.

Elizabeth Pha's group sucks, they keep yelling at her. Especially that nerd.

Break.

CHEESE EATING SURRENDER MONKEYS!! I CAN ONLY TAKE 4 OF YOU!! FINALLY A CAR THAT STANDS OUT!! Lol H Sarah.

Back. Yay Jamie and John are in the same group!!

Constantinou's group is up! He did great, and now there's this William Blake who's okay. Dezmond sucks. Simon hates the dancing. Dezmond!! Scoreness, Constantine's through! Ugh, so is Dezmond. William's not.

Rachel Leslie, Elizabeth Pha and Carrie Zaruba are up. Um Elizabeth isn't even singing she's just throwing runs everywhere, but she still sounds good. Simon sucks. Rachel and Carrie and through, but Liz isn't. I liked her better than those other two snobs. Now Liz is sad.

Break.

Back. Jamar and Anwar and Mario. Mario is awesome with his yodel!! Jamar is a freak!! Anwar is okay. They all got through.

Janay Castine, Gina McFadden, and Natalie Weiss. Beh a song about a postman. Janay got through. Gina's through. Natalie's out. Yup, two blacks and no white person. Typical.

Break.

Back. Jeez, Scott. His group hugs too much after hating each other.

Matt Meyers, Scott Savol, and Danny Steward. Matt messed up the words, Danny is okay. Whoo, Scott! Beh Matt has his sons teddy bear. Whoo, Scott! Randy says best ending ever. Matt's gone, Danny's through, Scott's through yay!

Lamar Jefferson, Aaron Kelly, and Timothy Sauer. Aaron is scary, Lamar sucks at singing and dancing and so does his twin. Tim is kind of cheap. They all screwed up so they started screaming and laughing and whooping. Simon says he doesn't know why he flew back from London to be there, and he calls them all fools and says it's stupid. Now the judges are arguing about who stays. Now Paula's getting all POed so she calls over Nigel to ask if two against one is the rule and he says it is so now she's mad.

Tim's staying, Aaron's gone, and so is Lamo. Now Simon's hugging Paula because he let Tim stay and that is what she wanted. Now he's pretending to stab a pen in her back.

Break.

Back. Jacyln Crum, Rashida Johnson, and Faith Gatewood. They'll all okay, I don't like Jacyln much though. They're all through.

Lol all the other grups are messing up. Nicholas loves himself. Brock messed up.

John Zisa, JP Koehler and Kurtis Parks are up yay!! John and Kurtis were good, but JP messed up. I haven't seen Kurtis before, he's good. Crap...oh they're through!! YAY!!! Now they'll all dying lol and Jamie's crying. They're all my favourites. Jamie is my Courtney except with a big band voice. I love John Zisa. Kurtis!!

Next week is solo performances and the top 24 is decided! I saw John crying!! I hope that means he's happy! Or not. J.Paul Koehler and Constantinou!!

AI4 Top 100:

Audition recap: Yay it's Sarah! Beh it's Dirk. Rich!!

Damn phone!! It's my mom and sister, my mom want to know what tape I'm recording it on.

Yay people in hotel rooms and on buses and rehearsing! Sean and Lindsay and Bao!

People starting to perform. Yay Carrie!! I think she might have just messed up, but otherwise she's doing great.

Jaclyn Crum. Ugh. Yay I love Sarah Mather she's singing my song!! Tameesha, ugh she sounds like Fantasia.

Carrie's through. Jaclyn is as well. So is Sarah!! Tameesha isn't.

Anthony!! Eeek so cute and so good! Michael Liuzza...not that great. Anthony's through. Michael's gone.

Haha Shunta got on the wrong bus. Rich Molfetta and Regina Brooks after the break!!

Back.

Rashida Johnson. She sounds like Camile Velasco and Jennifer Hudson mixed together. She's sick so she's crying but they liked her and she's through.

Amanda Avila and Travis Tucker and Linsey Cardinale. They're all through. H you're not Simon's brother!!

EEEK RICH!! Lol Ross Williams and Sean McNeil. Rich.

Ross is through. Sean is through. DAMNIT!! Richard!! Is not through. Hate. Everything. Was my favourite. Break.

Back. Nadia Turner, David Brown, Scott Savol, Anwar, Jeffery.

Nadia's in. David's in. Scott's in. Anwar's in. Jeffery's out. I hate everything!

Shunta is in.

Melissa Figurao, Vonzell Solomon. Regina Brooks is here. She sounds like J-Hud.

Melissa is in. Vonzell is in. Regina is out. Break.

Back. Patrick Norman and Mario. Patrick is really good. Patrick is AMAZING. Mario is awesome too. Francisco Torres - Beh he looks like my brother.

Mario's through. Patrick's gone, damnit!! So is Francisco.

Marlea Stroman - She left a day after she got there anyway because her kid got sick.

Marlea's in. But she's out anyway.

PATRICK NORMAN WAS ROBBED!! by LEROY WELLS!!

Aaron Kelly. Bo Bice. Constantinou!! Is not there to make friends. They'll all through, the rockers.

Briana's out. Ugh Mikalah is through, I hate her. Lots of guys after the break, including Jamie Koehler and John Zisa.

Back. Marlea's left because she hates the people and she misses her son.

Janay Castine - She looks like Eve Russell. She's through. Ugh, Jennifer's through. So is Jamie and John! Shazbot, Emily is gone!!

Tomorrow is group songs.

Wednesday: AI4: Saint Louis, Missouri:

Recap of last night.

Maynard triplets: "It's raining men". Simon said they all look like 3 overweight Jessica Simpson. The two outer ones left, and Erin is left in the middle. Erin's gone. Now Erin is talking to the camera and she's telling everyone how much they weigh, and they're bitching at her.

Katrina Rece - "I wanna dance with somebody". She's a cannibal, seriously, and she works by talking to mental patients all day. K then...but she's good, and she's really funny. She's gone, but Simon said that he watns her to meet the triplets because she can help them. He's obsessed with weight!

Break.

Back. Ryan's at a Cardinal's baseball game. Lol he like pailed someone in the face with the first pitch.

Maurice Moreau - Beh.

Daniel Sample - Stupid name!! "Angels" shut up!! H? Lol they'll all laughing.

Ozzie Smith - Oh I've heard of him!! "All I do" by Stevie Wonder. He's really good and energetic. He's in.

Johnny Hayes - "My first love". Lol Paula doesn't know what's happening, she's just looking around like beh. He sings way too high.

Jeremy and his singing teacher beh. Calm down singing teacher!! Someone's a little too pumped! His teacher goes first singing "Ain't nobody". Hate this song. Her name is Angel Higgs. She's good. She's through, Simon doesn't like her that much though. Beh freak!! Lol they'll all partaying.

Jessica Pontius - "Over the rainbow". She sings way too high, but she'd be good for musical theatre. Lol Randy says she can be a rat, he means rugrat. And then while they're talking she just walks out and now they're going hysterical lol. I've never seen Simon laugh so hard lol.

Break.

Back. Joe Schoen - "My girl". He's okay, but he's just really annoying. Lol he says he's not a cruise ship singer, but he sang on a cruise ship. He didn't make it because he's obnoxious, Simon says.

Justin Smith - "Proud mary" what a freak!! Um he's like spazzing and dancing all over the place!! He stopped singing and he keep singing! Gone.

Now it's showing all the people who sang that song. That guy was hot, I like him!! But he sucked. Ooh there he is again!! OMG that guy was hillarious he was like so monotone!!

Break.

Back.

Aasia Jackson - Beh he's 16 and looks 10 and he's rapping and now he's singing so high!! He looks like Eddie from That's So Raven. Beh he's in!! He's interesting. Oh my god...that's a GIRL. I'm serious. Just...what? No it's not!! But it IS!! Okay now I'm scared, I swear on Buddha I thought that was a guy. It looked and talked like one, I just thought they were singing high!!

Maurice Thomas - Freak!! Lol Paula spits her drink. No!! Now he won't leave because other people say he sounds like Brian McKnight and he's really good. Sure. Now he's trying to sing Brian McKnight.

Break. Angel Higgs' student Jeremy after the break.

Back. Kerry Underwood bio video. She lives on a farm. I've heard her at the site, she's really good. "I can't make you love me". She's AWESOME. She likes Martina McBride. She's through.

Jeremy Wakefield: "Ain't too proud to beg". He's really good, but they say he's too effective. What the hell does that mean? Randy says yes. Paula says no. Come on, Simon...he says no. You SUCK Simon!! Jeremy's not that upset, but Angel starts crying and she can't stop and she's like falling on the floor because she's so upset and I wish they would stop filming because now I'm getting upset and they won't STOP!!! Jeremy says it's not over for him yet, but she's still crying! He should have gotten through instead of that it person named Aaisa or whatever.

Back. Lol when Adam met Derk. Whoops, Dirk.

Adam brags too much.

Dirk's up first. Um he sucks. He sang a song by David Hasselhoff because he's obsessed with baywatch. He's gone. No, don't come back next year!

Now Adam Pratt. He's being a bragging freak. He's singing "This I promise you" by Richard Marx but sung by Nsync. That song was by Richard Marx? I didn't know that, and I love Richard! Adam's just about as bad as Dirk, if not worse. They said no. But he asks if he can finish the song! H no!! He says they thought it was good but too good to be true. They never said that! Now two losers and leaving together. Good, don't come back.

Show's over, Tuesday they do New Orleans. Some good people are from there. Gene Simmons is guest judging.

Lol Ryan still does Seacrest out.

Finally, break.

AI4: Auditions

Leandra Jackson - "Star-spangled banner". Oh dear god. That sucked. Lol you should have seen Simon's face he was all like "Ummm...k then."

That is a funky new intro.

Recap of last year's finale.

A bunch of sucky people and people who Simon called fat and some woman who he said looked like an elephant.

And now the judges yelling at each other in auditions. Beh, guest judgers. Kenny Logins, Gene Simmons, LL Cool J, Mark McGrath, and Brandy.

Now scenes with the crowd. Now intro of Mark McGrath. He looks like Ashton Kutcher. Ew god no wait, Sean William Scott. Eric Yoder! Ugh.

Break. After they start with Washington.

Back.

Sean McNeill "Isn't she lovely?" he's 27, but he's good. He's scary. He smiles way too much. Randy likes him, Paula does. And Simon says something about his smiling. Randy says yes, Paula says yes, Simon says yes on the personality Yeah, because that's really what the show is about, Simon. And Mark says yes too. He's in Hollywood yay!!

Rebecca Nassar - "The greatest love of all". God.

Davon Wright - "YMCA". Ugh.

Jesse Grazella - "You raise me up" by Josh Groban. He FORGOT the words, and had to go outside to ask people. Those are NOT the words. God, shut up!! No butchering Josh Groban!! They wasted like 10 minutes letting him figure out the lyrics so he could mess up. Now he's crying. Um look at Randy. And Mark is trying not to laugh. Paula says "Jesse" and he walks out. Now he's crying outside and his family says stop it.

And other loser forget the words.

Break.

Back.

Anwar Robinson - "You are the sunshine of my life". Beh he's like a Jamaican school teacher living in America, but he's American. He's good though. He looks like a girl though. His clothes suck. He sang it just right, which is good because I love that song. He's going to Hollywood!!

Beh some fatty. Melissa Considine "How do I live without you". Ugh, she sounds like she talks. Horrible. She's covered in scratches from dressing in the dark at a clothing star and fell into a 4 way rack and her dress is all ripped. Lol they hate her. And now she's getting all POed because she thinks she's great.

Break.

Back. Derek Braxton...bragger much? Beh, he's related to Toni Braxton, he's her cousin!! "How can an angel break my heart". Beh he sucks. Randy's hiding his face with paper so they can't see him laughing. JEEZ!! They'll all hiding. And now laughing. Big enough ring, Paula! Jeez again, he's scary!! Lol he doesn't get what's happening, they can't speak. Simon says "Umm...I think that's probably the weirdest voice I've ever heard in my life". He doesn't care lol. Lol he's rambling so fast it's hillarious! And he says they wish they were him. Lol. Doubt it.

Melissa Walton - "American the beautiful". She was good. And more people butchering that song. Beh Derek again!! Lol. Lol Derek again h!! You can't even tell what he's saying. Okay we don't need that. What a bunch of freaks! Um she looks like a horse. Beh singing high enough!!

Regina Brooks - She sold her wedding ring to get here. Now she's crying just in case she doesn't get in. "Misty" by Johnny Mathis. She sounds like Jen Hudson, she's really good. Beh they asked her husband to come in. And her kid. It's down to Paula. She's through. Now she's like dying lol.

Break. Back.

Marlea Stroman "All at once" by Bonnie Wright. Single full-time mom, broke up with her fiance two weeks ago. Fantasia much? But she's not ugly and she's good. They all say yes, she makes it.

Sarah Mather "Rescue me". This was Amy Adam's auditions song from Atlanta last year. Sarah's parents are British. She's good. Through.

Aven Moore - "Tomorrow" OH my god he's scary. What kind of a gay person wears a matching sweater and headband when they're a guy. Shut it you suck! Holy crap, he won't stop holding notes. Lol Simon's face. Lol bizarrely dreadful.

Break. Afterwards Constantine Maroulis I love him!! I heard him before the show started, he's a rock singer he's awesome.

Back. Constatine Maroulis - "Crying" by Aerosmith. Simon hates him. Simon sucks. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CONSTATINE'S GOING TO HOLLYWOOD!! I knew that from the list, but still it's AWESOME!! He's hot. He's got that Kalan Porter mixed with Jordan Allard look.

Amanda hubert - "Broken wing" by Martina McBride. Ugh, don't ruin Diana Degarmo's top 11 country song. Bye!!

Jillian Bennett - Shut it. Haha they both lost. Whoa, spazz much.

Break.

Back. Simon's dissing the Spice Girls. You wanna go, Simon?

Beh. Brian Bagley - "On the sunny side of the street". Um what a freak, he's wearing suspenders and looks like he's been beat up! Actually, he looks like Ricky Smith. But only ugly. Get out!!

Lol Travis Tucker. Beatboxing and breakdancing at the same time. "Isn't she lovely" over done much? He's making up the words, but he's really good. Through to Hollywood.

Mary Gober - "Hanky panky" beh she looks like Madonna. Lol Randy. Actually she looks like Megan from Radio Active. Gone.

Break.

Back.

Ian Holmes II: Awesome till high note. He's going through. Lol he's on the floor.

Michelle Fisher - "Kissing you". Lol Rarndy's hiding his face again. Gone.

Ryan took Constantine to tell his band that he's leaving. They are PISSED and the drummer hates AI so he ran out breaking things.

Break. Owww crap two of my cats just started hissing and then one of them flew at me and liked pierced my stomache. God it hurts and it scared the hell out of me.

Jason Smith: Beh what a freak. He keeps changing voices. Nope. Lol Simon says bye all of you.

Franchon Crews - "A woman's worth". She's okay. She's a 17 year old boxer. Nope.

New York Cit-ay time!!

John Zisa, who's dad is the mayor of Hackeysack or something: "Come to me" I LOVE THIS SONG!! He's awesome, and he's THROUGH!!

Break.

Back.

Mary Roach (or Gylbo if she makes it to Hollywood, she says) "I feel the earth move" by Carol King. Don't ruin Kim Caldwell's top 32 song from S2!! Lol Paula's face...and Simon's. Get out!! And now she's singing again oh god.

Show's over. Be back tomorrow for Saint Lewis. If I'm not at the movies or buying Carmen Rasmusen's CD which came out today so GET IT!!

So I talked to Jonathan on Monday night at like 9:40-11pm lol. Everything's fine. When he got the phone he was like "Hi" and I was like "Hey, how are you?" and he's like "I'm good, but how are you?" And I was like "I don't know." and then he was like "I've been thinking...muchly" and I was like "Yeah, and?" and he's like "Well, I'm coming back in March, so I'll see you then" and I was like "Okay, but what do you actually think?" and he's like "What do you think I think?" and so I was like "You're just gonna say that it's not gonna work out or whatever, and that we should just not try" and he's like "Yup, you've got it right so far!" and I was like "Okay seriously though, what do you think?" and he's like "Oh, but I thought you knew? You just told me!" and I was like "Shut up, it was wrong!" and he's like "Oh, well then what do I think?" and I was like "I don't KNOW, tell me!" and he was like "Well, I'm gonna see you in March, whether you like it or not...and it was about 3 days after I left for Whistler that I realized that I'd overreacted and been a big jerk" which is weird because it wasn't really that much his fault, so I was like "But it wasn't really your fault, though, because I shouldn't have tried to make you do something you didn't want to do" and he was like "Yeah...it was just too crowded...I didn't know that's what it was, but I finally realized that...and I didn't think it would bother me that much if there were people there, but it did!" and then we admitted that we were both half to blame for the whole thing getting messed up. And then I said about how just because what we have isn't the same as what most people have, they think it's not as good, and he was like "I think it's special, because it's not what most people have". And then I said about how he always insults me and he was like "That's what I do with everyone, that's who I am, I thought you knew that? I make fun of my chinese friend all the time...he's short, like you!" and I was like "Shut up!" and he's like "Okay, short stuff!" and so then I was like "Shut up!" again and I was like "What do you actually think of me?" and he's like "You're very short - uhh, precious to me!" which was such a bad save, but he's always like that. And then I asked him "Are you only going out with me because you have no one else to go out with?" and he's like "No, of course not!" and then I was like "Then why are you?" and he's like "I don't know!" and I was like "Oh my god!" and he was like "Because you're gorgeous and you're nice and your singing voice is superb" and I was like "How would YOU know?" and he's like "I wouldn't! Butcher Evanescence songs...I don't see how you could do that, those songs are easy, even I can sing along with them!" and I was like "Shut up, two people said that!" and he's like "Yeah, that's enough for me!" and then I didn't say anything for while and he's like "Fish?" and I was like "No...spoon" and he was like "Oh, spoon, of course!" because that's our thing that we do, don't ask why, he doesn't even know why. And then he said that he thinks he knows me fairly well and I said I think I don't know him very well, but I do, I under-estimated him when I thought that he was going to end it with me when he came back, because I thought he was just like all the other guys, but I forgot that he's not, he's the best I've ever had. And he said in Whistler he met the Guess Who, which is cool because they're awesome even though he doesn't believe I know who they are. And he said that he'll bring me my Christmas present in March, if he can find one, he says. And then he was like "Ooh, I know, I'll get you one of those T-Shirts that says: 'My boyfriend went to London and all I got was this crappy T-Shirt' those T-Shirts are freaking AWESOME!" and I was like "Okay then?" and then I asked him if he was going to think about me while he was gone and he was like "Oh, of course" and I was like "What will you think?" and he's like "Oh, wonderful things!" and I managed to convince him to try and email me, even though he doesn't know how, but he knows enough about it to do it, even though he hates computers. And then he freaked out at me because I didn't know what one of his dumbass video games was. And then I tried to talk about Idol and he threatened to hang up on me, so then he started to talk about StarWars/Trek and I threatened to hang up on him because those shows are crap but apparently so are Idol shows. He was in a car in the garage the whole time because his family kicked him out of his own room for some reason, and then at like 11 his grandpa came down and kicked him and he was like "Ow, Grampa! He just kicked me!" and I heard his grandpa say "And I'll kick you HARDER if you don't get off the phone!" and he was like "I've tried several times, she won't let me hang up, she's terrible!" and I was all like Shut up! And then he was telling me about some cute guy in his Chemistry class with long blond hair tied back in a ponytail until I told him to shut up because that's sick and then he was telling about how now he hates Evanescence because their new CD is "terrible" and about how they didn't even turn off the crowd, and I was like "It's called a 'live CD', Jonathan" and he was like "You shut up" which is his new thing, along with shushing me. I hate people who shush. And then he said about how I can tell that he likes me because he makes fun of me and he only makes fun of people he likes. And then I was like "You know how I can tell that you DON'T like me? Because you only say you care when I make you!" and he's like "That's not true. I care! See, you didn't make me say that." and I was like "Yes I did!" and he was like "I care I care I care I care I care! You didn't make me say THAT!" And then he said he hates people who say like and I was like "Oh yeah? Well at least we pay respect to the English language by using words that actually EXIST!" because of his stupid muchly thing which he says is a word but it's not. And then he kept hacking because he's sick and then he blew his nose into the phone and it was disgusting so I yelled at him. And I told him about how when I walked home from our date there were freaks in the tunnel who tried to make me smoke a joint with them and he went hysterical even though it so was not funny! So then I made him feel bad by telling him that I cried when he was gone, which I did! But then he seriously had to go so I was like "I'll miss you" and he was like "Me too" and he promised to try to email me, and it's only two months now instead of almost 4, so I got off way better this time, even though the road got a little bumpy along the way. Okay Rebecca, that's gay. I'm going to bed now. There might be some other stuff that I forgot but I'll add it later.

PS: I talked to David Lily on the phone tonight, it was awesome. We're gonna hang. He's a communist. I'm a Buddhist. Wow.

We spent 2 hours typing and then the internet got messed up and we lost the blog! Bugger. We had like so freaking much. About dancing. And chair breaking. And Ryan Cabrera! AND OUR CHRISTMUKKAH SONG!! And boiled egg burps!! And profile links!!! And me in the bathroom!! Wait, scratch that.

This was our Christmukkah song:

On the first day of Christmukkah we went to Rebecca's house
And we added Luke to MSN!!

On the second day of Christmukkah we went to Stephanie's house
Got grossed out by Shane
And we added Luke to MSN!!

On the third day of Christmukkah we went to Sarah's house (giyse)
Looked at Jordan's profile
Got grossed out by Shane
And we added Luke to MSN!!

And these were our links:

My updated MSN profile (with all this stuff about Paul on it): http://members.msn.com/default.msnw?mpp=4263~5AAoAAAAACZOKdUx3WWdEKNA!VQcz0ZsDdwspbjJVT5lnZhAwVYKKMHg$$~5AApAAAAAGJM3UCinyAY8Vb3fiJszBQWrnOFGaS75PZJo$

Sarah's updated profile (with lots of weird stuff on it like Allard): http://members.msn.com/default.msnw?mpp=4263~5AAAAiAAACPY8EeeiQjg6J5MoYDisZAa520xpzmC5VVlBBepLFu9!FKA$$~5AAAAjAAAEvRqr3SHQ8ibfsDmoXyk4nOHI7SEjNX2U2fk$

Oh crap I forgot to go see the Daily Enlightenment for today. I think I will now: http://www.buddhanet.net/flash/the-daily-enlightenment/index.html

December 30th: Complacency

It is terrifying to think that one is advanced in spiritual cultivation when all the peace that one is experiencing might be due to the external peacefulness around. One might be deluded to believe he is well on the Middle Path, steadily advancing towards Enlightenment.
All that one might be experiencing might be the ripening fruits of positive karma. This might lead to spiritual complacency as one rests on one's laurels. In the mean time, one's good karma drains out. This is like experiencing gods' lives in this human life. Once the good karma is depleted, the latent ill karma might surface.
After the heavenly holiday, even the gods can fall - and all "hell" might break loose.
Are you a "god" now? Be careful!

That is awesome. I got a book on the 28th called "The way to Buddhahood" which I saw when I was getting out my first Buddha books a month ago but I knew I wasn't ready for that, but I've read so much and having begun to understand what it's like to be a Boddhisattva, and what the Dharma is really like. So I've read a lot through it, but I still have so much to learn and practice.

And now I'm downloading Evanescence songs and searching for Growing Up Gotti Merchandise on www.aetv.com because it's my favourite show aside from RFR. The new season starts January 10 at 10/9c. I seriously can't wait, it's awesome. John Gotti is HOT!! Frankie is the nicest though, although he gets so POed over nothing sometimes. Carmine is kind of boring. Him and John look just like each other, but if you choose your favourite you can learn to tell the difference: Carmine is the model-type, he has like perfect skin and his hair is more slick while John's is kind of messy, and Carmine's face is shiny. John's eyebrows are a lot darker, the highlights in his hair are lighter and when he gets mad he puts his shoulders up a lot. Lol it's like 5:17am and I haven't slept at all, Sarah's asleep on the couch and I'm listening to Jacob Hoggard. I'm also downloading Ryan Cabrera songs, he rocks.

I got wincklepickers yesterday. They're these really short white boots that are really pointed at the front and have a 3 inch heel. They rock and they look so funky. My sister says that I'm trying to be Victoria Gotti. Beh. She has awesome style, though.

Now I'm on E-bay looking for Growing Up Gotti Shirts and listening to Ryan Cabrera "Lost again" he sounds like the guy from the Moffatts, who rock. Um they have like cheap stuff which is all in American. Like they have a John Gotti shirt which is awesome and not that expensive, but it doesn't say anything on it and the one with all 3 of them on it only ships to like American and Europe or something gay like that. But they have Gotti bracelets for only like $7 Canadian so that's good.

But now since it's like almost 6 I think I should post this. I'm not going to bed or anything, since I'm writing emails to people and downloading and listen to songs, but still. I might post later at like 8 or something when Sarah gets up. It doesn't get light for a while now. Alone in the dark with my music, just how I like it.

http://feature.atlrec.com/ryan_cabrera/ryan_hyfn_popup.html

The MI5 Season 2 premiere is January 8th at 10/9c. That's another awesome show which me and my mom having been waiting a year and a half for it to start again, it was supposed to come out in September of grade 8 or something.

http://www.eskimo.com/~douglas/sailing/2003_2004_trip/maps/newfoundland_east.jpg

So I went out with Jonathan on the 19th, and it was good. He thinks he's Chandler Bing. And he is seriously the sickest person ever. He's in Whistler now till January 3rd, and then he goes back to England on the 4th. He left on the 20th. Here's a picture of us two that my mom took just before we went back to our rock for 2 hours: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v187/JennifuhHudson/BeccaJ-Boy2copy.jpg

And here's a picture of our rock: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v187/JennifuhHudson/BeccaJ-Boy3.jpg (my mom was in the car at that point so it was kind of hard to take, that's why it's blurry)

Things are kind of messed up between us now, because while we were out last week we realized that this really never is going to work (because he lives in England), and then I told him that I loved him, and then he said it back when he wasn't even sure if he meant it or not, so now we both decided that we need time to think about whether we should even bother or not, because he's not sure what he thinks anymore.

When I phoned him on the 20th and he told me he still needed time, I told him it was fine, but I got upset afterwards because now I'm not going to be able to talk to him for two weeks, and I started thinking right away that it was over, and then I started picturing him with someone else and I started crying and I couldn't stop.

But now I realize that he never even said that he might not care, he just said that he needed time to think, which I also need. Another thing is that he also said was that he wasn't sure if he was ready for a relationship because he's never had one before, and I thought about that as well, and this is what I think: Obviously someone has to make him ready, and I won't let it be anyone else but me. Nobody else is going to get to kiss him before I do, or hold him like I did last week, and if any other girl even touches him I'll seriously kill her. He is mine and he will always be mine, no matter where the hell he lives.

He doesn't even have to tell me that he loves me, just knowing that he cares in the slightest is enough to make me feel lucky. And I'm not desperate or possessive either, I'm just smart enough to know that when something good comes along you shouldn't let it go, which is why I won't let him go. Not after everything that we have been through. I understand that he may not feel that much right now, but I will wait forever for him to say those words to me, just like I waited 3 entire months to see him again.

It's hard, but I can do it, and I know he can too. It's only another year before he moves here to go to University. He seems to think that I expect so much of him, but I don't. I'm not a hard person to please, honestly. Last week while I was leaning against him he put his arm around me and started stroking my hair, and then he leaned his head against mine, and I can't even being >to explain how that makes me feel.

He says that he wants me to be happy, and he seems to think that he can't make me happy, when he's the only thing that DOES make me happy. I get upset really easily, and anytime anything got messed up at school or anything, the mere memory of him kept me going. He also thinks he's not good enough for me, when he's the best thing that I've ever had, and like I said before, just the thought of him leaving forever kills me. It actually feels like it's cutting me inside.

The prospect of him going to University here depends on whether he gets funding from his grandfather, and if he doesn't, then he's never coming back because he'll be too busy...so if we do keep it going, the entire relationship relies on him getting funding. But I think that we should just keep it going and see what happens...he's got another year at school, so we can just keep it how it is now and then if it doesn't work out, then at least we tried.

But the main thing that should keep us going is hope, even if it's just a tiny ray and may not happen...if he DID come here, everything would be fine. And he's a really optimistic person, so I don't understand why he can't do this...unless he just doesn't want me to get hurt...but I WANT to do this. I want to tell him this, but I want to say it in a really sweet and caring way, not like I'm DEMANDING him to stay with me...and I'm so upset right now I don't know how.

This is what my friend Meg in Toronto says to say: "Johnny...I have to tell you somthing... we need to have a serious discussion here, you're such an amazingly optimistic person about practically everything...which I adore about you so much! But I get this feeling you're not the most optimistic about keeping this going...and I just want to know why. I'm willing to give it all I have, and I need to know if you want this, or not. Even if it breaks my heart, just tell me the truth I need to know how YOU feel and what YOU want...I already know what I feel and what I want."

I think that's good, and I've got some other stuff planned too, and I know that he'll have something to say when he comes back, so all I have to do is work what I say around that so that we both get our opinions stated. If I do it right, I know we can make it.

For Christmas I got Kalan's CD, Elton John's Greatest Hits, and my sister's friend burned me an Evanescence CD, and my sister gave me a CD of all Canadian songs that she got from her workplace, which has people like Celine Dion, Our Lady Peace, Chantel Kreviazuk (sp?), and Tal Bachman on it. My brother got me black fake hair, which is awesome, green chopsticks, which will go great with my black ones, a bracelet with a heart on it, and a studded grey wristband, which is freaking awesome. I also got perfume, concealer in the shape of lipstick, liquid eyeshadow, a brush, clip-on earings (I don't have pierced ears)a charm bracelet, a purse, the 5th Lemony Snicket book from my sister, which is the only one I don't have (I've read them all). Silk pj's, a long jean skirt, and a long sleeved shirt with string tie up at the front from my sister, and a discman from my sister (which is awesome because my old one broke a long time ago, probably from me playing Billy Klippert like 10 times a day and at night, I just hope I don't play Kalan too much on this one!) and candy!! And socks. So that's awesome. I also got $50 from my grandparents who are coming on the 29th, so now me and my mom are going to Wal-Mart to look for boots for when I go to school so I can be all punk freak with all my new punk freak stuff.

So, I just talked to Jonathan at like 10:30am, but he could only talk for like 10 minutes because he was going out, but it was still allright. I was like "Hi" and he was like "Hi, I just got back last night and I was like "Yes I know that" and then he was like "I'm tired" and I was like "You're ALWAYS tired!" and he's like "Yup!" and then I was like "I'm tired too, I just woke up like 5 minutes ago and I was like crap where's the phone and then I couldn't find the phone and then it was in my brother's room so I like had to go upstairs and just like...mneh" and he was like "Oh...kay...then?" and so then I was like "So...how are things with you?" and he's like "They're good...and how are things with you, how's your new school?" and I was just like "It's good...like some of it is not good, but most of it does...but does it really matter? Wait, I have no idea what I'm saying, never mind". and then I was like "Because you don't care." and he's like "I care!" and I was like "No you don't!" and he was like "Fine then, I don't care!" and I was like "Oh my god that's so mean! You know, I actually believe you when you say that." and he's like "Fine then, believe me!" and I was like "Fine then, I won't!" and he was like "What was that?" and I was like "See, you don't even listen to me!" and he was like "I listen, I just can't find my wallet right now." and I was like "Oh, wow" and he was like "Oh, there it is. Yeah, it has $200 in it, so I think I might have been a little worried" and I was like "You are SUCH a rich snob!" and he was like "No I'm not! That's like 60 cheques, so it's like nothing, I only get 3 pounds/hour." and I was like "For doing what?" and he was like "Babysitting. So that's like 6 dollars." and I was like "Sucker." and he was like "You're right!" and then he said about how he had to go and I was like "So, what do you want me to do?" and he was like "Call me again, sometime in the future, nearly..." and I knew he was being dumb so I was like "So I will see you?" and he was like "Yeah, sometime in the future, nearly, I'm not saying within the next 6 years, but you know, probably sometime..." and I was like "Are you being sarcastic?" and he was like "Yes, of course!" and I was like "Well, I don't know!" and he's like "Why not?" and I was like "I don't know! It seems like I don't even know you anymore!" and he was like "Yeah, that happens in life." and I was like "So you think it's true?" and he was like "Do I think what's true?" and I was like "Never MIND!!" and he was like "No, repeat what you said, please" and I was like "Well, I said about how it seems like I don't even know you anymore, and then you said something - " and he was like "See, you don't listen to me either!" and I was like "That's because I don't need to." and he's like "Oh, and why not?" and I was like "Because you just say the same things over and over again." and he was like "No I don't" and I was like "Yes you do" and he was like "No I don't!" and I was like "Yes you do!" and then it went on like that. And then I was like "Can I ask you something?" and he was like "Sure." so then I was like "Did you miss me?" and he was like "Of course!" and I was like "Are you sure?" and he was like "Yes, of course I'm sure." and then he seriously had to go so he was like "So, I'll see you later?" and I was like "Yes." and he was like "Excellent." and then so we stopped talking.

The conversation was allright, I guess, a little shorter than I expected. He didn't seem that interested in talking, but he's probably just busy and tired. I'm not going to go thinking like really that he doesn't care, because as a Buddhist it's my nature to be an optimist, so. I'll call him at like 5 or something, because he left at like 10:45.

I am so bored, la la la la la...school is out, and it's finally the 17th. If my calculations are correct, Jonathan got on the plane at 8:40am our time, which is 4:40pm his time, and it's now 6:00pm our time, which is 9 hours and 20 minutes after he left, and the flight is only 9 hours, and then he has to drive back from Sydney Airport, which takes about half an hour depending on how fast you drive, so he should be here in about 10 minutes. And I don't expect him to call me right when he gets in, so I probably won't talk to him for another hour or so, or maybe even tomorrow depending on how tired he is, which I expect him to be, because after you get off a 9 hour flight from like 20,000 miles away the time difference is totally messed up because you think it's like 3am (well actually, right now it would be 2:03am there, but whatever) and it's actually like 6pm so you're all jet-lagged. Ahaha Ryan Malcolm, and Gary Beals is still in Vegas. Sorry.

Updated Wouter site with songs and relationship news about Wouter and another Idol contestant. And other awesome stuff.

Claremont Idol is tomorrow and I'm singing "Imaginary" by Evanescence. I only just got the karaoke yesterday, but I think I'll be okay. I still have a lot to do tonight: I have to wash my hair, then dry it, and then put in it curlers for tomorrow, and then put my karaoke on a CD. Oh, I forgot say, I dyed my hair black on the 6th and got an Evanescence shirt, so now I'm Amy Lee. I rock. I'm not like gothic or anything, but people think I am because I wear black a lot, but that's just because it's a nice colour and it's mostly what I have. I also wear pink sometimes too. And blue.

I'm wearing my blue lacy skirt thing with my tights, and Sarah's letting me wear her fur boots, which are awesome. I'm not sure what shirt I'm wearing. Probably my sparkly white one, because my Evanescence one doesn't go with the rest of the outfit, plus I'm wearing it right now.

Sarah made me a sign for the show tomorrow. It rocks. It has all these inside jokes on it that everyone will be like the h is this.

The bottom is supposed to say BM but she's gonna change that. It rocks. Lol, yeah like Reynolds. Sorry. I think Stephanie's going to put BAM Spice Weasel on it tomorrow. Sarah got me a mini-book about Meditating for Christmas, it rocks. I'm Buddhist now. OH MY GOD CLAY AIKEN 2005 CALENDAR SOOOOOO HOT EEEEK. He has that CFM look in every picture. You'd have to go to the DLI forum on IDF to know what that means.

But I'm gonna go now because RFR is on in 5 minutes and I still have other stuff to do, I'm so glad I don't have any other homework. I'm going through my MSN history with Sandy and I'm reading about Jonathan.

I'm using this as a temporary hosting site for the Belgian Idol mp3's until my Wouter site gets back up because it's down right now and I need to put the songs from last night up because they're being requested, so here's what you do:

Go here: http://gmail.google.com/gmail if it takes you to the main page, the login name is idool2004 and the password is ilovelaura. All the songs are there, so just help yourself and remember to go to IDF (if you're a member) and thank purplerain for hosting them there, if it weren't for her I wouldn't have the mp3's up every week!

4 days.

Updated Wouter site with the winner's name and pictures and stuff. I know I'm supposed to be doing my homework right now but it'll only take me a little while and plus it's gay. Okay well it's not gay, but I just felt like saying that. I'll start it at 8:30pm.

I was going to talk about Jonathan, but now it's like 20 to nine and I have two poems to write, but maybe I'll just type them up/write them while typing. I love Jonathan.

Okay, i'ts now 10:33pm, I finished all my homework about half an hour ago, so now I've got half an hour to listen to Guy Sebastian and study Buddhism at www.buddhanet.net. Ahaha man walks on moon. Sorry.

So I phoned Jonathan's grandparents on December 1st, and they said that he was definitely coming back, so I gave them my new phone number.

He's coming on the 17th. EEK that's only 14 days. Eek 2 weeks. That's when we get off from school. And that's when Lemony Snicket's movie "A series of unfortunate events" comes out! I am SO seeing that! I meant to see it on the day it comes out but my sister's working that day so we're seeing it on the 18th, so that's good. Unless he wants to do something on that day. In which case it won't be. He always comes when I'm doing something! This is probably more important though, I mean like it's my boyfriend that I haven't seen in like 3 months. Over 3 months. And by the time it gets to the 17th it'll be almost 4 months. I am SO making him write to me next time. Stupid Jonathan. Sweet Jonathan. I love him.

They're having another Claremont Idol. The auditions are till next week. I want to audition, but I have to wait till I'm not sick because I'll sound crappy otherwise. Even though I already do. It'll just make it worse. If that's possible. I'm trying decide between Evanescence "October" "Imaginary" "Tourniquet" and "I must be dreaming" and maybe "Give unto me" but I don't think so. And also maybe "Even in death". This is what I've worked out so far:

October - Probably the best song but it makes me cry because of Jordan.
Imaginary - Second best to October but it gets a little too loud at partsIt and I dont' want to blow my voice.
Tourniquet - A good song but not one of my favourites and it just sounds okay, plus it doesn't mean that much to me.
I must be dreaming - Another song that gets too loud, but it's allright.
Even in death - I'd put this right below Imaginary, it's an awesome song.

So this is what I've narrowed it down to:

October
Imaginary
Even in death

I just downloaded Harry Potter 3 and me and my mom are going to watch it at 10 but she's watching TV right now and I have to phone Calum and read my Buddha book and medidate and listen to Evanescence in my room.

Happy late birthday Clay Aiken!! Yesterday he turned 26 but I remember only when I went to bed so I didn't have time.

December 8, 8/7c, NBC, Clay Aiken Christmas.

EEK Evanescence rocks. Sorry. I updated my Wouter site with the song choices for next week and pictures. www.xanga.com/Merrill1345.

Updated Wouter site with picture and HUGE review of tonight's show. And results. And stuff. www.xanga.com/Merrill1345

My nephew Gavin is sitting on my lap right now while we're listening to Evanescence "I must be dreaming".

But now I have to go do Math and French and I love Jonathan and Vote Wouter.

I'm on MSN sending someone Guy songs right now. I voted for him in their hottest Idol guy poll on Idolforums.com, and they said they liked Guy at World Idol and wanted to hear more, and I have probably have the most Guy Sebastian songs a Canadian fan could have along with videos, so I invited her to add me to MSN. So far I've sent the songs "Anthem of why" and "I wish" which are the best on his new album. I'm listening to "Wait" which is another amazing song. She said he sounds like Terrance Trent D'arby. Who now? Beh.

GUY WAS AT THE FINALE!! They were singing some freak slow version of "Waltzing Matilda" which was started off by Ricki-Lee and Angie Narayan, and then suddenly the judges stood up and clapped and then Guy walked out and I screamed and almost started crying because I was so surprised and happy because I love him so much.

Now we're talking about what a loser Jonatan Cerrada is and she said she's never heard Thierry so I'm sending her a song of him because he's amazing too. Now I'm saying that Courtney should have won Australian Idol 2 because he's amazing too!!!

Now I'm listening to the Kjartan Salvesen song she sent me "Trust fate" he's the winner of Noweigan Idol 2. He sounds like Millsy from AUI1. He's really really good, better than Kurt.

I am waiting for Mr.Worthy to phone me back. I got a bunch of new clothes from Martha today. Hannah and Gavin are here. I'm not randoming, seriously. Slananananananana...boosh. Sorry.

We had a party today in French class for no reason, and after like 30minutes of listening to ACDC, who I want to kill, I put on Kalan Porter's "Born to be wild" and then stupid Liam Kelley turned it off saying that Kalan was "butchering the song" and I was like "I'm gonna butcher you, you retard!". So then I put it back on afterwards. Kalan ROCKS, kay?

Clay Aiken is going to host his own Christmas Special show on December 8th, 8/7c on NBC. WATCH IT!! He just got over a cold and sinus infection from his "Joyful Noise Tour" where he plays with a 24-piece Orchestra and tries to sing over it, which means that he strained his voice and needed medicine from the doctor for it and had to cancel about 4 of his tour dates. Silly Clay.

Ruben Studdard is in the hospital with pneumonia, which was caused from exhaustion, which put him in the hospital in the first place. He's going to be in there all week, because they're not sure how serious his condition is. He should give performing a rest, it's been hurting him for a while. He also had to cancel some of his performances at local schools in Alabama. Hope he gets better soon!

I updated my Wouter site. With the theme and song choices for this week. And pictures. The person I'm talking to just said she'd add me as an affilate on the front page. And I'm going to do the same. Now I'm listening to Kurt Nilsen "Before you leave". He wrote this song about his girl. That's sweet.

I just remembered the time me and Jonathan were at the rock and I was trying to tell him that I liked him and I kept like smacking the rock because I couldn't say it and he started laughing and was just like "You get embarrassed so easily, it's just...fun!"

And then when I was talking to him on August 19th at Martha's house and it was when we were talking about what person he was to me and I said I didn't want to say just in case he thought I was stupid and he was like "Well, it could already be two ways...1) I already think you're the stupidest person in the world and nothing you say or do could make you any stupider or 2) I don't think you're stupid and never will think you're stupid no matter what you do" and I was like "Yeah, there's that" and he's like "Well, it's the first one." that is so sweet! Only 4 days till December eek!

And then there was last time I talked to him on August 21st at Martha's house where I was saying about how he didn't like me and he said he did and I was like "Oh yeah, that's why you kept staring at that chinese GOTH girl when we were out together!" and he's like "I was just teasing you!" and I was like "Oh SURE you were!!" but seriously he would not stop staring at her it was so annoying he was like "I've never seen a chinese goth before. She was rather...intriuging, wasn't she?" but I do believe he was just kidding, he wouldn't do that.

I just finished watching Guy's finale video of "Angel's brought me here" after he won and he was like crying and Marcia was like crying and there were inside fireworks raining down and confetti everywhere it was way better than this year's finale. EEEK GUY. Sorry.

Maria Haukaas Storeng is amazing! I just got a bunch of songs from her from Sandy, the new girl I'm talking to on MSN from Idolforums.com. Maria's from Norway Idol.

I'm going to the store now so I'll just end with this: I love Jonathan and BM!

Casey won. I accidentally went on MSN today at Sarah's house and my Australian news box popped up so I was like oh crap. But I'm happy. I didn't think she would. I'm still going to watch the finale, though.

I'm just listening to Evanescence and working on my medieval triangle. It's where you write abracadabra so one letter disappears with each succeeding line till there is nothing left, and the misfortune around you will disappear just like the word. To make misfortune go away forever you have to throw it in a river, but as a believer in Buddism I think that part of life is suffering, so people shouldn't try to rid themselves completely of it, so I'm just trying to keep it away from me most of the time.


Oh thank god blogger doesn't let you close your page without asking you if you really want to or not. My computer was just messing up so I went to close kazaa and accidentally clicked on this but it asked me if I realy wanted to so I clicked no and I was like oh thank god blogger doesn't let you close your page without asking you if you really want to or not.

My computer is really really screwing up so I think I should just post this and ahahahahaha Born is gone.