Results show (I'm doing it because my mom's not here and I don't think she'll come in till later):

Jacob's really starting to bug me. He can't EVER be serious, even when he has to be. Look it's Ben! He looks like a girl. Um...what are those freak things behind him? Bleachers? Um...the voting wheel stopped yesterday at 11:00pm, you freak. Zack. Sass is wearing a nice shirt, yet again. Farley is wearing a freakish tie. So is Jake.

A look back at last nights show. Where is the volume control? Theresa. Kalan. Jason, he loves Farley's hat. Jacob. Theresa again! KALAN!! Oh, he's so hot. Lol Jason again. Jacob singing his cheap song that's MEANT to be a duet. Lol Jason winked, I didn't notice that yesterday.

Break. Wow, we sure got a lot in THAT segment, didn't we?

Back. OOH GROUP SONG!!! Jason wiome on, get happy!" Diana did this song on Big Band Night on AI3. "Someone to watch over me", Theresa! This was Diana's OTHER Big Band song! How ridiculous. She looks nice. Jacob singing some song or other. Something about a kiss to build a dream on. Oh, that would be it. Whoops, I'm smart. Someone likes Theresa alittle too much. Kalan with "You're nobody till somebody loves you". I care, Kalan! Beh he's wearing a purple shirt under his suit! With something red on it, a heart or a strawberry or something. Now all of them finishing it off. Um what was that freak hand movement Kalan?! Now Ben is talking to all of them. Theresa says to scat you just have to feel the music, but she's heard Ben scat and she says he should stick to hosting. But he sucks at that too, doesn't he? Joking.

Now Jon is with all these audience freaks. Now they are all stepping on Jon. Now another clip where they go to Jon's house and try to wake him up. Kalan says into the mic thing "It's your mommy!". Now they are all jumping on him and being martians and playing guitar and wrestling with Kalan as the ref and Jacob is pretending the roof is on fire and being a cop car or something and then they drag Jon down the stairs and feed him while he's asleep and then Jon wakes up and he tells them about his dream which had them doing all the stuff that they were really doing while trying to wake him up, and he says to Kalan "Do you play the drums?" and Kalan's like "No..." and Jon's like "You should man, you were really good in my dream" and you should have seen the way Kalan looked at him it was so funny he was like WHAT is wrong with you you retard!

Break. Oh shoot, this thing has gone on overwrite, so it's messed up at the top where it should say "Jason with Come On Get Happy", just for the record.

Back. Matt Dusk is here singing his song "Two Shots". He's hot, I can't remember who he looks like, though. He's from "The Casino" and he has a CD. He's a big band singer. Which, of course, is why they have him on Big Band Results night. Now Ben asks him idiot questions about when he's going on tour. He asks EVERY guest performer that! Matt Dusk won some CNE Contest thing and that's how he got his start. Now he's singing again "Fly me to the moon". Okay, he's done.

Break. Beh, there's a message on my machine for my mom from some England woman named Alana who said she's calling to see how she is and she'll try back later and thanks for today or something! Beh, my mom has NO idea who she is, my mom doesn't even know anyone here!

Back. Jon Dore. What is with his hair? It's like...deviled. Best and Worst clip showback. The award goes to Marvin Poon and Margaret-Anne Karen or "Almost Paradise". Dude, they sucked! It should have been the "A whole new world" trio, with that cute guy Jordie Houghton!

Results time! Jacob: Overview of songs and judges comment. Jason: Same. He winked again! Theresa: Same. She's wearing a nice shirt. Kind of like Sass's from last night only different, but the straps are the same. I haven't seen her wear her glasses in weeks. I miss them. Kalan: Same. Ben is talking really fast because he needs time! First member is: Going to have to wait until after the break.

Break. Oh, that message was for my dad, not my mom. How does Kevin sound like Susan? Oh wait, I'm deaf, that's how. It's someone he does editing for, and they worked together today.

Back. Jacob is safe. Jason is in the bottom 2 again, darn. The Newfoundlanders had trouble voting last night, their lines were down, which is why I kept getting through. Theresa is the 2nd member. I love them both so much! Zack said something about TV sucks or whatever. Jason is singing "I won't dance". Now Theresa is singing "It's only a paper moon". She scats so fast. She's doing the shoulder thing, I love that, me and my mom do that all the time when music comes on.

Break. Those bleachers were music stands, by the way. It's going to be Jason.

Back. The eliminated contestant is...Jason Greeley. Stupid Newfoundland lines. If it weren't for them, he'd be safe. Now a clip of his journey, and he sings us out with "Easy".

Top 4: Big Band (Musical Standards)

Ooh, nice band. Oron who now? Yeah okay people, stop showing off now.

Theresa! Kalan! Jason! Jacob! Whoa, what a dork much, Jacob!

Big Band history clip.

Judges: Zack wearing leather. You know what, dude, you're not cool! Sass, awesome shirt. Farley. Beh, so ugly with his freak hat! Jake. Nice tie, dude.

Theresa Sokyrka - "It's only a paper moon". Whoa, scat much. I love this song. Yup, she's doing it again. She was good. Jake says we all believe in her. Farley says she's the most in her element. Sass says she's custom made to sing that. Zack says he "dug it". Beh. Who TALKS like that anymore, man?

Break. Back.

Kalan Porter - "Moon River". EEEEK!!! I love this song too! Oooh, he's so...everything. Farley says awesome, Sass says he's impossibly dreamy (SO true), Zack says anyone who doesn't understand Kalan is too jaded to deserve to watch this show (Oooh BURN Mum!!) and Jake likes it too. I am SO voting for him (it's been a while, hasn't it?)

Jason Greeley - "I won't dance". NO WAY!!! I love this song too! This is such a great show. It was different from the RJ Helton (S1) version, but it was still awesome! Sass says it's awesome. Zack says Good Work Bro. Jake says Jason is a big band singer. Farley says he's SO impressed and he tips his hat to him! Yay! Jason says he won't dance because Farley says so. Funny.

Break.

Back. Jacob Hoggard - "Straighten up and fly right". He's dressed like a 50's bartender. I get the 50's, but not the bartender. And ONCE AGAIN, he has his sleeves rolled up like the construction worker that he is, so that sort of wrecks that 50's look he's going for, but whatever. What was that freak muttering in the middle? He made people scream, so it must've been good. Zack says he's a star. They all are. What's your point? Jake says he's going to become a movie star. Great comments on the SINGING, Jakey! Farley says he's an entertainer extraorinair. In a singing competition. Right. I added the last sentence by myself. Jacob just held up four fingers and then had to check to see if that was right. Dumb, much? Just kidding, I love the guy.

Theresa Sokyrka - "Dream a little dream of me" or something, Ben was being stupid. He was pushing Jacob and laughing so I couldn't hear the song title. Now she's wearing a pink dress. Her hair's a little messy, but whatever. She's scatting again. She ended very nicely. I love her "Thank you"'s. Jake says she's inspiring and looks nice. Farley asks her to dance. Sass says something about ice cream and sprinkles and strawberries being Theresa or something. Zack says she needs a vocal coach because she's just a little short of being a great singer. Now she looks like she's going to cry. Don't cry, little hatchet!

Break. Kalan Porter up next.

Back.

Kalan Porter - "The way you look tonight". I love this song too! Guy did this song. And so did John Stevens and Jasmine Trias. Over done, much? No. Farley says some freak thing about his suit.. Sass says something else. Zack gives props. Jake says something about something.

Loreal clip. Jacob's a freak. He's streaking Theresa's hair and he's like "Different strokes for different folks!". Beh.

Break.

Back. Jon Dore. He's playing a saxophone. Ben's kicking him out. You suck, Ben! He's playing so bad!

Jason Greeley - "It had to be you". Sass say's he's swooping. You talk English. Zack said he doesn't excite enough. Jake says his first performance was better. Farley says he likes his interacting with the audience.

Break.

Back. Jacob Hoggard - "Unforgettable". He still looks like a bartender even though he changed his clothes. He was cheap. This is supposed to be a duet song, stupidhead. Zack said something about diverse. Jake says it's fantastic. Farley says something about showmanship. And Sass says it was unforgettable.

Recap: Theresa Sokyrka - 1-866-9-IDOL-01 - "It's only a paper moon"
"Drean a little dream of me"

Kalan Porter - 1-866-9-IDOL-02 - "Moon River"
"The Way You Look Tonight"

Jason Greeley - 1-866-9-IDOL-03 - "I won't dance"
"It had to be you"

Jacob Hoggard - 1-866-9-IDOL-04 - "Straighten up and fly right"
"Unforgettable"

I'm voting for Kalan.

Canadian Idol: Best & Worst of:

Beh. Ben is singing with some horrible freak. Hey, it's Kim Savage. Not the freak, she's just in the room.

Whoa what the heck. Ben and Jon are singing with suits and hats and canes. Fred Durst. Meat? Jon is coughing. Backup dancers. Wearing...sparkly things. Whoa.

Rick Jordan: Something more. Dude, that's Ryan Malcolm's song. This guy's not even hot.

Jake says they don't know they're bad.

Kristen Dohan. She wasn't that bad. I saw her just a minute ago on a re-run tape I was watching before the show. She's actually good. If she took lessons, that would be good.

Christopher Macfarlene. Singing Spice Girls. Right.

Sean Dooling.

Edward Mblahahaljdsflakdjf or something.

Jordan Ford. He looks like Kalan, except ugly.

Some ugly people.

Beh Julia. Nice hat.

Some more ulgy people.

Break. This is a pretty cheap show!

Back. Ugh, Bonnie.

I like Ian. God Zack, calm down. Ugh, Wes, bad memory.

Ugh, Wes and Bonnie are on the stage singing "I got you babe". Whoa, Wes looks hot. Wes is actually pretty good, Bonnie is just horrible. Break.

Gary Beals album promo. I have to get that.

Back. CECIL!!! It's raining blood? That's not right.

Alison. She's okay. Julie. Ugh. Sarah James. And some girl who likes Jake. Ugh, Shelly. Katie. I like her. Didn't she make the top 100?

UGH, Lindsay Chief Calf. WHAT A STUPID NAME!! Nicole Dye. Please die. Kenia Del Toro. Another stupid name. Oh god no, Slyvie. I hate it when sucky people hold notes, it sucks. I think Farley likes her, he keeps staring at her shirt. That's because it's like a black leather bikini top with a black see-through lace shirt over it.

Johnny Rockstar and Sylvie are on the stage singing "That's what friends are for". He looks freakish, I'm surprised he's not from Newfoundland the way he's dressed! Sylvie sucks. She looks like Fantasia with hair. HAHA!!

You get to vote for your favourite duet at www.idol.ctv.ca. I would have voted for Wes and Bonnie, but Bonnie just makes me mad, she thinks she so great and she's ugly.

Break. When will this garbage show be OVER?! In like half an hour, great. I can't BELIEVE I have to watch this, let alone recap it. It's called "The BEST and worst of Canadian Idol" not "The Best OF the worst". Shouldn't they should be showing some good people too? Like that really good hot guy that they showed in the promo for this, that guy who sounded like Shane only better and hotter, and Shane is pretty hot.

Back. Joel, ew. I remember Sandra Pitts. She was too loud. Marvin, I knew he was going to be on there. He's that Japanese guys who sings Dan Hill. NOT Mikey Bustos. Lol Jake ate a bad lunch. This girl is singing Madonna. She's good, but her dancing sucks. That was in Montreal. I remember Sass's shirt. Ugh god, Shira Katz. I would hate to be that ugly. She's making up some cheap CI song. Some fatty called Margaret. Um...you don't wear a shirt like that when you're that fat. Even Zack says it's gross. Eric Cartman? Oh, Carmen. Whoops.

Marvin Poon and that fat girl Margaret-Anne Karen. Knocking on Heaven's door. Great.

Break. I have a headache. I need asprin.

Back. Hey, it's that Atm Muttakin! I can't swallow my asprin. It just keeps sticking to the roof of my mouth.

Jordie Houghton. THAT'S THE HOT GUY!! Farley even agrees that he's good. How stupid of them. That guy was so cute, and he was so good.

Beh Jonathan. He's kind of hot. But not as hot as my Jonathan. And before some Spanish person who told Zack his pants were too tight.

Ugh, i remember that guy, I just watched im on the re-run. Whoa, it's Willie White's dad. She wasn't bad. Ew, is that even a guy? What a freak, he's copying that other guy! It's a Whole New World and all the cheap people who sang it. Zack says the words "Tell me Princess" are now banned from his household.

Oooh "Whole new world" trio. That blond guy, a Chinese guy, and JORDIE!! He's so cute!!! When I saw Jordie in the promo, I thought they were going to show him in the good part. But there WAS no good part! Hey, it's that Joel dancing freak loser guy! Since when is flapping like a bird dancing? Rick and Thomas were the other guys. Rick Thomas. Isn't that a person!

Break. good, only 5 more minutes. My head still hurts, I swallowed the asprin but it's not working! I want to Johnny to be here. And no, not Johnny Rockstar, Johnny Monson. Way to let your palm pilot get soaked, genius.

Back. Time to vote for my favourite duet. It has to be the trio, Jordie is so cute! Now Ben and Jon are singing again. Now they all come out and sing. Maybe THIS is why I have a headache. Ben IS NOT this bad of a singer. I've heard him sing normally before. Now Kat singing "A Dream is a wish your heart makes". She's good, they're using it as a song for all the clips.

FINALLY IT'S DONE!!

I'll do Wednesday's and Thursday's show together (sorry that it's late, I was at my friends house)

Performances: Summertime Hits:

Shane Wiebe - "Can't take my eyes off you" by Frankie Vallie and the Four Seasons. That was THE worst thing I have EVER seen in my life, he was singing Lauryn Hill's version! Who DOES that, man? It sucked. Guy was like a trillion times better. Ugh. He even messed up the words at the beginning! The judges thought it was okay.

Kalan Porter - "Long train runnin'" by Dobie Gray, or someone like that. I know this song. He sang okay, but he looked like a retard. When he sang "Without love" he had his tongue hanging out and this disgusting look on his face so it looked like he was gonna barf. The judges didn't like it. At the beginning of his clip when he was at the Toronto PNE thing he was holding these disgusting chicken things and he held it up to the camera and was like "You want one?". Beh.

Jason Greeley - "Bad Case Of Loving You". He ran everywhere, even through the audience! He was so funny. I voted for him most. I can't remember what the judges said. Something about generic bar rock idol or something.

Jacob Hoggard - "I don't want to miss a thing" by Aerosmith. Everyone has sung that song, so it wasn't that different. Billy Klippert was better. Jacob always holds on to the back of his pants while he's singing, he looks retarded. The judges liked him. Farley says he will recognize Jacob's voice in his sleep. Ew.

Theresa Sokyrka - "Cruisin'" by Dobie Gray. Sorry. If I don't know who it's by, it's by Dobie Gray. I know this song though, I've heard it a billion times on my radio station. She had a flower on her microphone. She was awesome. Zack said she's his favourite singer left on the show. Her and Jason SO like each other. Just look at this pic http://www.ctvmedia.ca/images/0c8v6084.jpg

Thursday:

Results show starts with Ben being witty: "Who is the real thing, and who is a summer fling?" Hmm. And; "Who sang the right notes, and who didn't get the votes?" Um...Ben has plans to be a poet when he retires.

We start the weirdest group performances ever with Theresa singing Walking on Sunshine, and the boys running around the audience. Shane and Jason don't appear to be having as much fun out there as the High Five Duo, Jacob and Kalan. Those two are running about, mugging for the cameras, all that stuff.

Back on stage, Jacob and Kalan smash into each other. This is fun! Then, Jason starts singing Summer in the City. Fun over, kids! The Grimmace has arrived. Kalan goes next, looking not quite as ill as he did last night. I must admit, I am waiting for any song where he tries to force out a word, just to see if his "I'm seriously about to lose my lunch here" look was just yesterday. He just looks like he is trying too hard. Poor Hobbit-Boi.
Then Jacob, who can enjoy anything, it seems, as long as he has company. I love the outfit too....red shoes. Cool!
Shane now does the best part, which is Sunshine of Your Love. This song suits his voice. Now why didn't he do this song yesterday? I am starting to like Shane.
Ok then they all sing, then the break.

I noticed that Ben and half the judges seem to be wearing black. Ominous!

Then Gary Beals. Well actually, a zillion dancers on the stage, I thought one of them was white, but maybe not. All dressed in white, as is the Beals when he comes out finally. His "partner" in the dance is some woman who is about a foot taller and ten years older and who is wearing a retarded shirt with air-conditioned underarms. How freakshow is that! He mumbles on about "Sunny Tays" and I don't quite know what else, it's almost a surprise when he sings two words in a row that I can understand. All kinds of choreography, shades of every video going back 2o years. Can't he just SING like Billy did? I wonder if we will have the same silliness when Ryan is on the show.
Ben tells Gary how wonderful he is, I think how short he is. He can at least carry on a conversation without talking about throwing up, so I have to give him that over Billy.
Break. Now...the worst group song ever. Beach Boy's tribute, starting with I Get Around. This should be good, Shane gets the high notes. He looks like he knows this is the silliest thing ever, and he is just going to do it anyway, and have fun. Jacob goes next, and he winds up on the floor dancing. Jason looks like he does not want to be with these idiots! Theresa and Kalan are going all low profile here. Then Theresa sings Wouldn't it be Nice. Jason is acting suspicious here. First, I thought he was half ignoring here because he doesn't like the group stuff. Then I saw the Airplane photo, where she is all curled around his leg. I think he doesn't know how to pretend that he likes her. Seeing as how he does and all. Background music seems a bit too loud, her voice is disappearing again.
Then we get Good Vibrations, with Kalan starting out the singing. Then they all supposedly sing the really high notes. I think Jacob is faking it. They all move downstage, Jason gets to sing the next part and his mike cuts out. At this point they all get confused, as the next high notes come along, followed by the next line, which they all start singing at different times. That was a "watch it many times" part, because it was so bad as to be very funny. Especially Jason, who is trying to act like nothing happened. Jacob and Shane seem delighted that it is all so totally dumb, and Kalan looks like he about to get in trouble with the teacher. Theresa is the only one who sails through like it didn't happen. Even the judges are laughing .
This is still only halfway through the show, so they fill the rest with Jon Dore singing about Monday's Best and Worst show. And a clip show. More clips, this time about the judges. What they really do for a living. Oh and that Zack went to a private school. Cool! What do we get next week? Ben and Jon and their high school yearbooks perhaps.
Finally, results. And it will be bottom two only. First member...Jason. (ohyesohyesohyesohyes...)
Break. Matt Dusk next week, oh who cares. Oh no. Jacob has his coat on. He is prepared to sing Everything, where he throws it on the floor.
Theresa...safe.
Kalan...safe.
Another break. I heard that Shane and Jacob went over to Jason in the break, before they knew who would join him. Ben should be hung up by his feet for a week. He said "Jacob, I'm sorry. You are safe". Which gave Shane just enough time to imagine he was safe before he found himself in the bottom two.

Long versions of each of their songs. Jason stays on the stage this time, Shane remembers the words. In the end though, it is Shane who gets sent home. He does a sing out of "Angel" to his wife, who is singing along too.
Theresa and Kalan are puddles of tears as usual, Jacob forces himself to smile, but after the song he is the first to hug Shane for about ten minutes, and he comes away all teary too. Jason goes all big brothery and tries to console Kalan. There...another sad ending. I have towonder, would they all collapse if it was Jason? I have a feeling we will never know. Grrrr.