I am so retarded. I just came back from seeing Mean Girls about an hour ago, which is a really good movie, and when I got home I decided to phone Alum, who wasn't home, then Jordan, who didn't answer. Then, for no reason, I decided to rip up everything to do with Jordan that I had. Melanie C "Lose Myelf in you" (I'm playing her CD). Anyway, seriously, I took his printed off my wall, ripped it to shreds, took his framed picture and turned it face down on my desk, then I went to my Math notebook and whited out all the stuff I wrote about him, took out my planner, ripped out the page in the back where I wrote about him, and rippped that to shreds too. Then I went to a page where I wrote his name like 60 times in a row, and whited that out too. Then I went to my email, and deleted the whole folder of messages I had from him, and took him off my list of contacts. I still have a whole diary of stuff about him, but I'm going to see if I can get him to read it before I destroy it. And I have a binder with conversations that we had in it, but I have to get it back from Sarah before I ripped it up. Oh, and I deleted his number off my speed dial. The only thing I'm keeping is the toy kittie he gave me on my 12th birthday, because it's soooooo cute and I love it, just like I thought I did him. Melanie C "Positively Somewhere". Such a weird song, seriously.

I don't know why I did it, though. We haven't talked in weeks, unless you include the time in the library Wednesday morning when I asked him what book he was looking for. I think it's because I thought about all the things he does, and how much chance we have of actually getting back together again. Whenever Shannon decides to be a loser and throw Guy at him (my pencil case) or something, he freaks out and like kicks it. And he tells people he hates me. Well, he hasn't done that in a while, but still. Melanie C "Melt". I swear to Jesus Roman, she's saying goat. What? Whatever. Shut. And then there was yesterday, when some asses in my class decided to throw my papers everywhere in Tech Ed, and Jordan did nothing about it. But it was funny, sometimes I go to sit with him and Andrew and Shannon, and I say "Shut up Jordan" he says "You shut up", except he doesn't say it in a hate way, he kind of says it the way he used to. No!! Don't go there, Rebecca, seriously. No "Used to", anymore.

I remember this time when I told him that I had watched a video and I was going to die in 7 days (The Ring, he hadn't seen it), and he actually believed me and he got so freaked out, and then he was so pissed when I told him that I made it up and that it was from a movie. He was like "NEVER do that again, next time do that to somebody who DOESN'T care!!" AI3 Top 9 "Elton John Medley"...NO!!! JOHN-NNY!!!!!

My phone is a piece of crap, seriously. It started staticing when I was talking to Kristina, but then a few people phoned for my mom, who isn't here, and it stopped doing it. Then I phone Alum, and it starts doing it again. Seriously, it was so bad, he could not hear me at all. Everything I said he was like "What? I can't hear you!" and then I said something else and he was like "Hmmm?" and then he kept saying "I can't hear you" as if I didn't know that, so I was like "Okay, I think I KNOW that!!" and he heard that, so. I just started laughing everytime he said he couldn't hear me because it was so hillarious. And then I put him on speakerphone, and it got a little better. And then it was funny because he's like "Okay it's better...no wait it's not...wait it is...no, okay it's messed up now". And then I got so mad I was like "What the freaking hell!!" and then he was like "Okay, I'm gonna go because--" and then my phone totally died. And I was like "Oh crap." I got to ask him whether he was mad at me, and he said no, why would he be. And then Kristina phoned me back and the phone was fine. I really want to phone him back, but I don't want it to happen again, so I'm just gonna ask my dad what's wrong.

Okay, I'm watching the results show right now:

Ryan put them into two groups: Group A - Fantasia, Latoya, Diana, and Group B - John, Jas, and George. Group B is the bottom 3. Sandy said on MSN she was said, and she only likes Diana, so I thought Diana was going. Now I'm utterly cofused. She said that to throw me off. What a bitch. I was so freaked I was like "No. NO. NOOOOO!!!!!" Seriously. I need water.

Randy says it's the correct bottom 3 and one of them deserves to go. Shut up, ass. Oh crap, Ryan's sending someone back. Oh shite, it's Jasmine. That's good. Ryan said "George, step back, to let Jasmine go back". What a pig. John and George are the bottom 2. Damming hell, this is NOT fair!! They can't send George home, he's so cool! They can't send John home, he'l miss Big Band Theme next week!! Now there's adverts. What the hell? A guy is breathing fire out of his mouth from eating a hamburger. Idiot promos. Why the hell isn't my mom home yet? Idiot mom. Okay it's coming on. It's on. Oh my god I'm so scared.

No!! It's John. I'm not gonna cry. Okay, I'm crying. No, I'm not. It's okay. He's singing again now. Jasmine's totally crying. So's Diana. Don't act like you're sad, Paula, everyone knows you don't give a damn. Wow, he's getting to sing the whole song. No one ever gets to do that. Don't cut him off, you fucking promos, those bastards can wait for the fucking OC!!!

Tuesday: Latin music with Gloria Estefan as Guest Judge...incredibly boring night, I must say.

Tasia Rino - "Get on your feet". She was okay. She yelled out "This one's for Jennifer, we love you baby!" which got me so pissed, but still, she was good. I listened to her song again today. But no, I do NOT like her, don't even think that, ever.

George Huff - "Live for loving you". He was really good! He said listen like twice and he did this totally scary thing with his eyes, it was funny.

Latoya London - "Rhythm is gonna get you". She sucked. Hell. And she was incredibly ugly, seriously.

John Stevens - "Music of my heart". He sucked mildly. But he's still hot. The first part was good. He sang it for his grandmother, which is so sweet. Haters are actually phoning the producers and death-threatening John. That's so horrible. Come on people, he's a 16 yearold kid who's just doing what he loves, and hasn't hurt anyone. Losers.

Jasmine Trias - "Here we are". She was the best of the night, even though her throat messed up at one point.

Diana Degarmo - "Turn the beat around". I haven't decided if she sucked or not, I'm listening to it again right now. Yeah, she sucked. If you want a good version of that song, download Carmen Rasmusen's from last season's Disco Night, which was WAY better.

I didn't vote last night. There was no one worth voting for. I was going to put one vote in for Jasmine, but then the computer wasn't working, so. Carmen, Kim C, and Trenyce from Season 2 were on On Air With Ryan Seacrest today, giving their takes on last nights show, and saying who they thought was going to go home and who was gonna win. Kim said Jas was going, Carmen said John, and Trenyce said George. And they all said Latoya was going to win. Not if I can help it, sorry Carmen. They're on Ryan's show every Wednesday, which I didn't know till today, but it's good that I do.

Here's a conversation me and Sandy had in my Math notebook today in Math class: the one that starts out with R, then goes to J, then D is me, and then the P and B and W is her. We do that so people who look at it won't know it's us.

R: Do you think Jordan still cares?
B - What if you get punched in the face?
R - Do you think Derek made that up? (Derek said in Tech Ed that if someone was beating me up Jordan would step in and defend me, haha)
B - NO
R - LOL he was reading (Jordan had just gotten yelled at by Mr.Melnyk for reading during a lesson, that is so him)
B - Okay
R - Maybe I'll write Gordon a note
P - I'm so sleepy
R - Way to go you just made me yawn lol :o
P - Yeah!
J - Mmm donuts lol double glazed (Mr.Melnyk was talking about double glazed windows or something retarded like that)
P: Ya yummy
J - Whoa...I just figured out who my fave AI is
W - Who?
D: JT...ooh I just got looked at!! (I looked up at the clock and then when I looked back Jordan was looking at me)

Diana Degarmo "One Voice". Now I'm just reading over a conversation that me and Sandy had about Jordan. We have like 8 pages of notes in here, I have to rip them out and stash them away in case Melnyk wants to do a notebook check or something retarded like that. Jennifer Hudson "Heat wave". Now I'm looking at the time when me and Shannon were writing in Social Studies during the crappy video we were watching on castles. They had video game music, like from Shing Force II, seriously. Sweet. Elizabeth Letendre "The first ever I saw your face". How the hell did Elizabeth Letendre get there? Oh yeah, the wildcard show. Haha, now I'm reading the conversation that I had with Neeto and Calum at their lockers, which I wrote down for Sandy later. I gotta phone Gordon to tell him about the extremely pissy letter I left in his locker today after school. Jennifuh, OUT!!!

Cripes? Who the hell says cripes, seriously? Ugh. I'm working on crappy science homework again, what fun!! Actually, it's crappy math homework, but whatever. I just gotta get it done before mum comes home, because she'll get so pissed if she finds out I'm doing math homework while on the computer. Camile Velasco "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road". Damn ratios combined with triangles. You suck. Diana Degarmo "My heart will go on".

J 2 8 Find J: 2 J J = 2x40 J = 10 Find I: 2 8 I = 8x8 I=32 =
--- = --- = --- --- = --- ------- --- = --- ------
40 8 I 8 40 8 8 I 2
(known
ratio)

That is seriously one of the questions. Question 6, to be exact. I just finished one of the pages. I still have another triangle one, Science experiment #8. I also had to find two pages of internet research on the Medici family, but I did that when I got home, so all I have to do is print it out, which I'll do later. Jennifer Hudson "No one else on earth". Okay seriously, I gotta go, I have to finish my homework because I have to watch Jen perform on ET at 7, but first, a few song spoilers for tonight's show:

Fantasia - Get on your feet
Diana - Turn the beat around (Carmen's song from Disco night, if she screws it up I'll kill her)
John - Music of my heart (extremely messable upable, if you get that)
Jasmine - Here we are

If you want the rest you can go to www.idolforums.com but if you're on the West Coast it's a bad idea because the Easterners have already seen it and they'll say stuff about the performances, so. I'll try to get my recap up tonight after I download the songs. Seacrest, out!

Okay, I am so freaked out. You can tell I'm freaked out, because I never make more than one post a day. And plus, I'm not listening to music. Well, that's because the TV's on, but still. You know WHY I'm freaked out? Because I have to go to Peer Mediating tomorrow. With Calum. Because I'm mad at him. Because he's being an ass. It was Neeto's idea. That's all I can say. Cripes.

I just finished watching Lizzie McGuire (the one where Lizzie, Miranda, and Gordo sneak out to a party they're not allowed to go to), and now I'm talking to Ariel on MSN. We're talking about how Alistair Hayward is so opinionated and he always thinks he's right even when he knows he's not. I was just getting mad because he keeps saying that John Stevens and Jennifer Hudson and Jenny Gear suck, and Fantasia is the best, and that if I don't think that that it means I'm deaf. But I know it's not true, in my opinion, and everyone's entitled to their own opinion, so. Wow, that's the most sensible thing I've ever said on here. Shut up.

Oh, I have some more people to add to the list of singers that people say I'm better than:

Jennifer Hudson (my mom and Kristina just said that)
Jenny Gear (Thank you, Alistair!)

Jennifer Hudson "I believe in you and me", from the Wildcard results show after Randy announced that he had picked her. That was when I started liking her, was at the Wildcard show, and I was happy Randy picked her.

Oh my god, www.johnstevenssucks.com, is so hillarious. I love John, but still, it's so pathetic, it's funny. George Huff "Take me to the pilot". George is very sick at the moment, his athsma caught up to him during last weeks performance which is why he sounded so bad, and he's really ill, I'm really upset about him. He's still sad about Jennifer leaving, because they were best friends and were hoping to make it to the final 2 together. When they met in the top 100, they wanted to make it to the top 32 together, and they did, and then they wanted to make the top 12, but they both got cut, so then they both wanted to get brought back for wildcard, and they did, and then they wanted to be picked for top 12, and they did.

Now me and Ariel are working on one of my songs, trying to make it better. She says I keep yodelling and it sounds like I'm crying, but I can't seem to stop doing it, I got it from Carmen and it took me like a year to teach myself how, I really don't want to give it up, but if it makes my singing better, then I guess I have to. She says that I also do this like, really painful low note, which I got from Jenny. And she also says I overdo it too much, which I got from Jennifer Hudson.

I keep doing this thing where I open the AI3 song folder and close my eyes and move the arrows back and forth and up and down so I have no idea what song I'm at and then I press ENTER to see which one it is. So far, I've wound up with William Hung, two Diana songs, and Donnie Williams. Bah! I didn't even know I had Donnie on here. If he hadn'tve gotten arrested for drunk driving, George wouldn't be here!!